26th September 2005

Posted September 26, 2005

A party was going on, my mouth was the happenin’ place to be

A true shot to my ego, and my pristine gobbler, I had my first cavity decommissioned this afternoon.

It is a truly funny image, you look out through your two eyes, into a bright light, and two people sticking any number of plastic, metal, or a combination of both, objects into your mouth, making lots of noise and generally caused monotonous stress upon their insured drones.

For all I know, the doctor could have a digital imagery manipulation from stink-u, and he is in the back room coloring your x-ray’s, muttering under his egor breath, “Yeeessss, dis will make an exceellent patient” as he swabs so more black on your personal mouth scans. They also teach proper manners and dialect at stink-u, because they come out, all polished, poke at your teeth for roughly the time it takes to blink an eye, and conclude, “Hmmm, Joe, appears we’ll be seeing you again soon.”

No matter how many times they phrase it that way, the patient never learns. “What, what did I win? I know. It’s it unbelievable! I floss ten times a day, and you want to use me as a demonstration of perfect dental hygiene to your aspiring dentist society. But before we get any further, these pearls don’t come free, does this pay benefits?”

He laughs with his smug polished, (did I detect an english accent in there? What is that?) laugh and says, “No, Bob (cause he doesn’t really know your name, only your statement) looks like you have yourself a doozie of a cavity there.”

There were really much nicer where I went, and it wasn’t really very painful, but :45 minutes of whirling and drilling and two separate individuals sticking their whole hands in my mouth pushed me to any man’s limits. Now, when I smile, I look like Two-Face from Batman. I concentrate real hard, but the left side just doesn’t respond. Yo! wake up face!

So, tonight, I will probably be doing things to take my mind off of my almost perfect mouth. Maybe I will watch movies with Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster, curl up in my blanket, and cry, “Look at their mouths! So perfect. So perfect.” as it turns to anger, throwing the kleenex at the screen, “I bet Mr. Gibson has never had two whole hands in his mouth!”.

Ah, that feels better. Seriously, Batman and ravioli for me tonight.

The perfect cap would’ve been if this “doctor” dentist guy, when I was leaving, slapped me generously on the behind and said, “walk it off kid!”

Sections Updated: C-D Movies, E-F Movies, P-R Movies